My child might be neurodivergent

Be curious

Think of anything you might have noticed about how your child is at home, at school and in wider family or social settings. You don't have to wait for a formal diagnosis to start helping your child.

Take time to notice what brings your child joy, what they’re great at, and what they might find challenging. Every child has a unique profile of strengths and needs.

Think of adaptations that may help

Once you identify what triggers difficulties for your child, you can think of ways to help them. For example, if loud environments are stressful, ear defenders might help. If school or busy places are tiring, plan for quiet time afterwards to recharge.

Consider their strengths and find ways to encourage them, we have tips to help your child develop talents.

Establish clear routines & expectations

A clear routine for your child will help make transitions between activities more predictable for them. Consider using visual timetables or planners.

It might help to plan for your child to have shorter activities with frequent breaks. For example: 5 minutes of reading followed by 5 minutes of physical play.

Your child might find it easier to go to bed at the same time each night after a calm 'wind down' routine.

For each activity, clarify your expectations, for example how long they are expected to sit for at meal time. We have advice on how to establish routines and rituals to help your child. You might also find it helpful to think of how you use limits and consequences with your child.

Support their emotional wellbeing

Talk with your child about their emotions and help them to name feelings such as frustration & anger.

This will allow your child to learn to identify feelings more easily and eventually help prevent them from escalating to overwhelm. We have tips to help you prevent your child from reaching overwhelm.

Your child might need your support to calm down, this is called co-regulation. Examples of co-regulation include gentle rocking or hugging & reassurance.

It will also be helpful to try strategies for them to self-regulate – so that they can calm down independently.

Practice social and friendship skills

You can use role play or social stories with your child to help them explore and understand social situations.

Put this into practice by facilitating play time with siblings and friends. It might be helpful to keep the play dates short and structured. When things go wrong, support your child to repair and re-build. For example you might ask them to say "sorry”.

Allow plenty of down time for your child after being in socially demanding environments.

Help your child stay active

Ensure daily physical activity is built into your child’s routine. For example: walking, cycling or skating to school if possible. Facilitate regular outdoor free play in a garden or park, if available.

Work together with the school

Regular communication with your child’s school can make a big difference. Share what works at home and ask about what’s in place at school to support your child’s learning and wellbeing.

Examples of helpful adaptations:

• Movement breaks
• Fidget tools
• Sensory-friendly spaces
• Feelings cards

They will also communicate how your child is learning, behaving & interacting with others.

Model taking care of yourself

Your child learns a lot from watching you. Show them how you manage stress, talk about your feelings, and take care of yourself. You could talk about how you manage difficult emotions.

And remember: supporting your child starts with supporting yourself. Seek support for yourself from friends, family and support groups.

For more on this topic, check out this blog "Brilliant brains like ours" where Judah Racham, our Programme Leader for Family Work, explores the ups and downs of growing up with neurodiversity, and how his experience has helped him guide his neurodivergent child.