Playing with my child

Play can look like lots of things and doesn’t always involve toys. Play comes from within a child, sometimes they want grown-ups to join-in. It’ll vary from culture to culture as play prepares children to be a part of a culture.

There are different sorts of play:

• Physical play which releases energy – like jumping, running, dancing, or climbing
• Expressive play - when a child uses art, music, or toys to show feelings
• Experimental play - when your child does things to see what happens. Like playing with puzzles, building, or doing crafts
• Pretend play - that allows children to express themselves and solve problems
• Organised play - for instance football, board games, card games or computer games.
• Children can also enjoy watching play. Many find it soothing and comforting to play the same game, play with the same toy, or have the same story read often.

• Play helps children communicate what’s going on for them inside. It helps them gain control of their thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Through play, children learn how to think and solve problems. Play helps them to make friends, be patient and sort out difficulties.
• Play helps children work out how to be a part of their community or culture.
• It can also help develop their physical strength and thinking skills.
• Play develops skills that help make children healthy and happy. It helps turn them into strong adults.
• When you play with your child, it shows them you enjoy being with them. It also shows them that they’re important to you and that they’re valuable as people.
• Playing gives your child positive attention. It should mean they don’t need to find ways of getting your attention by behaving in a way you don’t want. And we all know what that looks like!

• No-one has all day to play, so aim for 10 minutes of uninterrupted play at a time to suit your child. It helps to put your phone on silent, so you’re not distracted.
• Go at your child’s pace. This might be boring for you. But children often need to repeat things lots and lots of times to feel good about what they do.
• Be focused and appreciative. Notice what they do and help your child feel important. Say ‘well done’ when they try to do new things.
• Describe what your child is doing, both actions and emotions: ‘You’ve got the red brick now and are balancing on the blue one;’ ‘You look so proud of your tower, you have a big smile on your face’.
• Avoid telling your child what to do. Also try not to correct, criticise, or compete with them. If you go along with their play, you’re showing them how to be considerate of others’ requests and ideas.
• Some make-believe aggressive play is ok from time to time and normal.
• It’s also ok to say no to things that you’re not comfortable with, like violent games. If you suggest something else, it should avoid a power struggle.
• It’s natural to feel a bit silly and embarrassed when you join in with pretend play.
• If you’ve more than one child, try playing altogether. And give each child individual play time with you.
• Give your child a 5-minute warning before the end of the play session. Say, ‘in 5 minutes it’s time for me to stop and we’ll play again tomorrow.’

Albert Einstein said, ‘playing makes us know that we are alive’ and ‘play is the highest form of research.’ He also said ‘if you want your child to be intelligent read them fairy tales. If you want your child to be more intelligent, read more fairy tales.

Want to know more?

You can find creative projects on Place2Be's Art Room page. They help parents and children to nurture their relationship whilst having fun making art together. Each project offers space to explore an engaging theme through stories, art, and conversation. The activities provided can be adapted to a range of settings with children of different abilities and ages. The aim of these projects is to encourage children to create something they want to make. We hope their creativity can be celebrated and their social and emotional wellbeing strengthened through this process.