How can I support my child after a traumatic event?
- Although you may want to protect your child from traumatic events, some things can just happen ‘out of the blue’. For example, your child may see or be involved in an accident or act of violence, or they may have experienced a house fire or severe flood. Your child may also have experienced the traumatic bereavement of a loved one. It can be difficult to know how to support your child after a traumatic event. Here are some ideas for you to think about.
Things you can try
Create a sense of safety
Your child may feel less safe after a traumatic event. They may need extra cuddles or reassurance. Remind them that you (and others in their lives, such as their teachers) will always try to keep them safe.
Create a sense of calm
Children will often be more calm if their parents or carers are. Do things that help you and your child to feel calm. This might be having cuddles, having a bath, playing a favourite game or playing with a pet.
When talking about the event, be brief and honest, and allow your child to ask questions
It’s best for children to learn about the traumatic event from a safe, trusted adult like you. Don’t worry about not knowing exactly the right thing to say — after all, there is no answer that will make everything ok. Listen to what your child wants to say about the event, and acknowledge how they are feeling.
Stick to normal routines
Maintain normal routines as much as possible. After a traumatic event, routines can reassure children that parts of their life can remain the same. Try to stick to regular mealtimes and bedtimes. If you are homeless or temporarily relocated, establish new routines.
Stay connected to others
Make sure that you and your children stay connected to loved ones, friends, neighbours, wider family, and faith groups (if you have one). Encourage your child to play and have fun – and allow yourself to, too. Reach out for help if you feel you or your child are struggling.
Maintain a sense of hope
Remaining hopeful can help you and your child to recover from the traumatic event. Things may seem so overwhelming right now – but they won’t always be like this. Think about things that you and your child can look forward to in the future, however small.
Look after yourself
Remember the ‘oxygen mask principle’ - if you have ever been on a flight, you will have been told that, in the event of an incident, you must put on your own oxygen make first, before helping others. So remember to take care of yourself as this will help you to take better care of your child, too.
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