Talking to my child about race and discrimination

• Whatever your race it can be hard to talk to children about racial identity.
• We may worry it’s too early to expose them to topics like racism and discrimination.
• It may be something we don’t feel comfortable talking about.
• We may not know where to start if we’ve not talked about our own racial identity.
• Every family will talk about racial identity in a different way.
• And it’s never too early to start having this discussion with our children.

• Young children notice and think about race.
• Babies notice physical differences, including skin colour, from as early as six months.
• Two-year-olds use race to consider others and their behaviour. It means they learn to stereotype at about the same age as they learn to speak.
• Most children start Primary School thinking some people have higher status than others.
• Parents tend to think children share their racial beliefs. But children, between the ages of three and five, can develop different views.
• Ignoring or avoiding the topic does not protect our children. It leaves them exposed to bias or racism.
• When children experience racism, they may struggle to understand why it is happening.
• Children’s feelings about their racial identity can affect their development and wellbeing.
• Parents help children develop positive attitudes about their race and diversity in general. It gives children the skills to promote a fairer future. For example, talking about inter-racial friendships can improve a child's attitude to race.

• Acknowledge your child notices racial differences. You could say, ‘Yes, she speaks a different language at home; his skin is a different colour; and their family wear different clothes to us. Human beings can be lots of different races, what race do you think you are?’.

• Celebrate racial and cultural differences. For instance, talk to your children about religious celebrations like Divali, Christmas, Eid or Hannukka.

• Explain how everyone feels the same feelings and gets hurt in the same ways regardless of who they are.

• Allow your child to ask questions about racial differences. For example, if your child says ‘Rhys says I can’t play with Jamal because he’s brown’ you can say ‘Well what do you think? I think you can play with whoever you like. We choose our friends because we like them not because of the colour of their skin.’

• Talk to children about the need to treat others with fairness. You could do this using the UN convention on the rights of the child. It says children have the right not to be discriminated against, to have their own identity and to have their own thoughts, opinions, and religion.

• You could also talk about what famous freedom fighters fought for - like Mandela and Ghandi.

• Find out what children are learning at school, and on social media, about race.

• Encourage your child to talk to you about racial differences and challenge them strongly if they are mean about someone because they are racially different to them.

If your child tells you, they - or someone else - has experienced racism in school speak to the school immediately.